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 What John Cleese has to say

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Airbrushler
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PostSubject: What John Cleese has to say   What John Cleese has to say Icon_minitimeSat Aug 31, 2013 6:51 pm

By John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”

[i][i][i]
What John Cleese has to say Cleese2
[/i][/i][/i]Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.


The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.


The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.


Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”


The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”


Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .


The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.


Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

A final thought – ” Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC

i love what he says about the Scots...lol

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knispel
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PostSubject: Re: What John Cleese has to say   What John Cleese has to say Icon_minitimeSun Sep 01, 2013 2:01 pm

Thanks for the post, needed a laugh:lol:
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doug818tiger
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PostSubject: Re: What John Cleese has to say   What John Cleese has to say Icon_minitimeSun Sep 01, 2013 2:22 pm

I say we raise a molson to them they are in a state of dissaraie ...poor bastards aww I feel bad now we should send them a keg of our finest beer and and a QP tell them to relax .....its a long weekend
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doug818tiger
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PostSubject: Re: What John Cleese has to say   What John Cleese has to say Icon_minitimeSun Sep 01, 2013 2:23 pm

Airbrusher I may not always see eye to eye with ya but .....that is some funny stuff
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Airbrushler
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PostSubject: Re: What John Cleese has to say   What John Cleese has to say Icon_minitimeSun Sep 01, 2013 3:16 pm

doug818tiger wrote:
Airbrusher I may not always see eye to eye with ya but .....that is some funny stuff
Maybe you're taller than me....lol

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doug818tiger
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PostSubject: Re: What John Cleese has to say   What John Cleese has to say Icon_minitimeSun Sep 01, 2013 5:18 pm

6 foot nothin .....you? ......I'm not comparing dress sizes ...I don't swing that way ...lol
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Airbrushler
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PostSubject: Re: What John Cleese has to say   What John Cleese has to say Icon_minitimeSun Sep 01, 2013 5:31 pm

that's it,  that is why, i'm only 5',8''....lol

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